Dr Zoe Williams knew a lot about birth before the arrival of her son in 2021.
The TV doctor, now 44, previously worked for six months in an OB-GYN unit where many women deemed “high risk” came to give birth. She admits it gave her a “skewed” view of what childbirth entails.
When she became pregnant, she was adamant she would have a planned C-section (“like a lot of doctors do,” she says). Her reasoning was that while she didn’t believe it was the “safest or best option”, at least she knew what she was going in for. There was an element of control.
“But when I was around six months pregnant, the doctor noise in my head got quieter, and the maternal mum Zoe got louder, and I completely shifted to wanting a home birth,” Dr Zoe, who regularly appears on ITV’s This Morning, tells HuffPost UK in an interview.
Throughout this growing revelation, she had to “let go” of her medical knowledge and – with the help of a doula and hypnobirthing trainer – she was “guided towards the science of what happens when things don’t go wrong”.
“For example, the oxytocin helps drive the childbirth and if you get stressed the cortisol affects the oxytocin,” she explains.
“I started to realise: if I go to hospital, I will be stressed in that situation and I’ll find it very uncomfortable. I just wanted to be at home. So in the end, it was like I put down my medical knowledge and regained this mother knowledge, which is what saw me through.”
Dr Zoe ended up giving birth to her son Lisbon at home, with no midwives present, in a birthing pool. She says she was fortunate to have a doula present but was able to deliver her baby herself.
Discussing her experience, the healthcare professional who’s currently working with Tommee Tippee, reveals: “In the end, when I was going through childbirth, it was like in my mind I knew it had nothing to do with me, it was none of my business.
“This was my body and the baby, it had a job to do, and I just needed to support them by staying calm, tolerating the ‘sensations’ as they decided to call them, and let them do their job. And I knew instinctively, intuitively, I absolutely knew that everything was going to be okay if I was just left alone.
“I didn’t want a doctor anyway near me. I did want a midwife though [she laughs] – and maybe a bit of gas and air.”
While her birth was luckily very straightforward, it was the aftermath – the fourth trimester – which the doctor felt completely unprepared for.
Her recovery from birth took a long time (“well I’ve never fully recovered to be honest – physically or mentally, you’re never the same again,” she notes).
While she was able to go running a few months prior to pregnancy, it took over six months post-birth to be able to run 10 metres.
But perhaps the biggest shock was “how hard being a mum is”.
“I’m not sure everyone finds it as hard as I do, because if I’m honest I’ve always found things easy – whether it’s been school or sport,” says Dr Zoe.
“I’m very resilient. I’m very physically and emotionally strong. But having a baby broke them, more than anything – and it’s only now looking back… I wouldn’t say I had postnatal depression, but I had some form of postnatal anxiety.”
Around one in five women will develop mental health issues when they’re pregnant or in the first year after their baby’s born. However they might not even realise it at the time.
“I didn’t sleep, I was just terrified of everything and for the first year, year-and-a-half maybe, it affected me daily,” Dr Zoe says.
“My mental health was definitely impacted but, at the time, I just thought this is how it is – which I’m sure a lot of mums do.”
Now, the NHS GP is keep to encourage other mums – especially Black mothers – to reach out for support if they’re feeling low or anxious after birth, particularly if it’s detrimental to daily functioning.
We know that Black mums are twice as likely to be hospitalised with perinatal mental illness than white mums and suicide continues to be the leading cause of direct maternal death between six weeks and 12 months after birth.
“You don’t need to be at a point where you’re suicidal to feel that you are worthy of receiving help and support,” says the health expert.
“If you’re struggling to function in any way, or your quality of life is significantly impacted by any mental health symptoms, you should always reach out for help because help is available in many different forms.”
- Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
- Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
- CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
- The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
- Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
