I’m a counsellor – this is what I’m being asked most in 2025

If you’ve ever been to counselling or therapy, you’ll know it’s not an easy process.

Opening up is difficult for many of us, and it can be hard to know where to start when it comes to seeking mental health support – especially if you feel your problem is “too small” or that it’s not worth seeking help for.

To reassure you that you’re not alone in your problems, we spoke to psychotherapist and counsellor Eimear O’Mahony about the questions she is being asked most frequently this year – and how to cope with the feelings.

Read on for the topics she is being asked most commonly so far in 2025…

1. Why do I feel so lonely?

Loneliness affects people physically and mentally. Psychologically, it can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety and depression.

People often feel disconnected and misunderstood. Chronic loneliness can result in low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.

Physically, loneliness is linked to an increased risk of various health issues including cardiovascular illness, high blood pressure and a weakened immune system. Socially, loneliness can lead to withdrawal from others, creating further isolation and alienation.

READ: Tips for loneliness: try this expert-approved 5-minute hack next time you’re feeling lonely 

What can help if I feel lonely?

• Reach out to others personally or professionally.

• Join a community online or in person, local clubs, gym etc.

• Volunteer – helping others can reduce feelings of loneliness by creating meaningful connections and providing a sense of purpose.

• Consider therapy or speak to your doctor – if loneliness feels overwhelming or persistent, speak to a professional. There may be underlying issues with trauma, anxiety, depression or shame that need to be addressed.

• Practice self-compassion – acknowledge your feelings without judgement and try to be kind to yourself.

• Focus on self-care. Taking time for activities that nourish your mind and body – exercise, eating nourishing foods, getting enough sleep or spending time in nature.  

• Create a routine – structure can help you to feel connected to purpose.

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2. How do I manage anxiety?

Anxiety is an emotional and physical state that feels like fear, dread or that uneasy feeling running through our body.

It is our body’s reaction to danger, threat or a stressful situation. When the brain perceives a threat, it activates the body’s fight or flight alarm system and adrenaline is released into the blood from the adrenal gland.

READ: I have high-functioning anxiety – here’s how to recognise it 

This activates our primal response to run away or fight (fight or flight response). An everyday issue we face is when it kicks in when it is not needed (when the danger is in our heads and not our reality).

The reason why we experience an uncomfortable physical and emotional response is because the adrenaline makes our body systems speed up; diverting blood towards the big muscles, preparing us to attack or escape.

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What will help if I feel anxious?

Managing anxiety can involve a combination of practices and strategies. Most people know that breathing techniques, exercise, healthy diet, enough sleep, limiting caffeine and alcohol, journaling and medication can help ease and manage anxiety. However, sometimes we need to address the underlying reasons for anxiety and beliefs we hold.

Many of us have underlying beliefs of, “I’m not good enough,” which can fuel anxiety and low mood.  

HELP: Try this 1-minute hack to instantly calm down

Firstly, identify if this anxiety is a natural response, i.e (anxiety before an exam, interview or driving lesson) or is it long term and persistent? If it’s the latter, consider speaking to a psychotherapist or your GP.

Therapy can help you to understand your thought patterns that fuel anxiety and through practice and repetition can help you to reframe and change your thought process.

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If you can’t afford therapy or the waiting list is long, consider one of the following resources – Insight Timer, CALM, Mind, OPEN, Samaritans, Breathing Space.

3. How do I set healthy boundaries?

A boundary represents protection of our bodies, minds, emotions and energy, but many of us struggle to set healthy boundaries with our friends, family and colleagues. 

Let’s start with the different types of boundaries – physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material and time. We can have boundaries with others and boundaries with ourselves.

Here are a few signs that you may have an issue prioritising yourself.

• You feel guilty when you put yourself first.

• You say yes when you would like to say no.

• You struggle to express your thoughts and feelings.

• You expect others to know what you are thinking or feeling without communicating clearly to them.

• You feel responsible for other people’s feelings or happiness.

• You over-share personal or vulnerable information.

• You often feel angry, frustrated or resentful towards others.

• Your values and behaviours/ actions do not align.

• You allow others to easily influence or change your decisions

RELATED: I finally learned to say no at 46 – and it changed my life 

How can we establish healthy boundaries with friends and family?

• Identify your limits – what do you want to prioritise and what drains your energy?

• Limit time with certain family members/friends if you find it difficult to be around them.

• Give yourself permission to say no.

• Avoid certain topics of conversation (explain “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that,” or leave the situation if your boundary is not respected).- Communicate your needs if it feel safe to (“I’m available on Sunday but I’ll only be able to stay for an hour,” for example.

• Give yourself space and time (if you are visiting family is it a good idea to stay with them or are you more comfortable staying in separate accommodation?)

• Seek professional help if you can afford it, and if you’re unsure how to navigate boundaries with your family. 

Follow Eimear on Instagram and find out how to work with her here.